Saturday, October 9, 2010

Que Sera Sera

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

-Natasha Bedingfield

I've been remembering how happy I was before, when I wasn't so worried about the future.  I was enjoying today.  I've been single since 1995, and I have not been miserable for 15 years.  I've been pretty darned happy.  I kept men around as long as I enjoyed their company.  When being with them was no longer fun, I kicked them out.  I want to go back to those days.  

I can't help thinking if I hadn't been so concerned with where we were headed, maybe things would be different.  Maybe if I just relaxed and let things happen instead of trying to make them happen...

I accepted the call from Wyoming.  And I'm still talking to the new guy.  I don't have any idea if either one will be in my future and I'm actually okay with that. 

Yes, I would still like to be in a relationship if I find the right person.  That may take a while.  Not everyone is going to be okay with me taking off on road trips alone.  I've been told I'm different more than once...and it wasn't always a compliment. 

P.S.  Every time I talk to the new guy, he asks if I've heard from "that guy in Hawaii."  Every time I talk to Wyoming, he asks if I'm seeing anybody.  I respond, "I'm talking to someone," but I give them each as few details as possible.  What the hell?  I thought you guys didn't want to hear us talking about other men.        


Brian Miller said...

nah, they just want security...if only they could give the same...smiles.

Amanda said...

What Brian said.

When it's right you'll figure it out. I would say "you'll know it" but that's bunk.

You're a smart cookie. I suspect you'll manage. ;)

sage said...

Being single was a lot of fun, but then there comes a time you want to settle down... I would be careful with guys on a rebound. And be open, you'll never know when things will change for the positive.

Tempo said...

I feel the same way...when I'm in a relationship I want freedom and when I'm single I want a relationship...there's just no pleasing men! So dont bother trying.
Please yourself and have a great life, if Mr Right comes along that will be great and if he doesn't then you will not have waited in vein.
I love this post, makes complete sense and puts you where you the drivers seat!

gayle said...

Great idea!! Just enjoy the moments!!

Vince said...

It was truly amasing for Europeans that both you Yanks and the Russians were the only peoples that married so early. We went from 'Marriage is for life' to a more practical 'shacking up' or test driving-leasing arrangement. But you have the 'Starter Spouse'.
BTW, are you mentally 'two timing'.

Jen said...

Yes I am, Vince, and if I get the chance it'll be more than mentally two timing. It'll be their own damned faults and I won't feel a bit guilty.

Vince said...

LOL: Careful though, they might run you to the Texas border on a Rail. And the nearest one to you is a touch damp.

Bernie said...

Just enjoy your life Jen, it is so beautiful and don't worry about who is in or out of your life. When someone special comes into your life so be it until then just have fun......:-) Hugs

Kelly said...

Yes, just enjoy life and quit letting these guys run it (ruin it) for you.

A Lady's Life said...

Oh I sense a bit of dislike of men here.

Some women (like men) should stay free and of course,as long as they are honest about it, there is nothing wrong with that. Men find this even more so appealing as they always have throughout times.

But why not find someone who likes to trek around on road trips as much as you do?
You can explore and enjoy life together and I am sure there are tons out there like that.

Personally, If I did not find someone special, I would not look. It never happens when you look.
You can't resolve a problem by saying "once they are not fun anymore, you kick them out." From my experience,that's not the way life work's and in the end you will be the loser.
This thinking makes me fear for you.
As a Mother, your daughter learns from your example. I would think you'd want a more stable life for her.

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