Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Germaine's Luau

Bus 2 Plus 1

I was pretty miserable for a little while.  I didn't know that was possible in Hawaii.  I was ticked off that Wyoming was obviously not interested in hanging out with me but didn't have the guts to tell me - he just kept making excuses and let me figure it out.  I had one especially awful night in which I was missing my daughter.  I wanted to get on a plane and come home early.  But I came all this way and spent all that money - I was going to get out of my room and try to have a good time, dammit.  I went downstairs to the lobby to book some tours.

The woman at the activities desk told me I could save $100 if I talked to the gentleman at the next desk and agreed to take a tour of the Wyndham Properties.  "Are you employed full time?" he asked.

Avon.  "I'm self-employed."

"OK.  Do you have an annual income of at least $75,000?"
Uncle Sam said I earned $80,000 last year and taxed me accordingly.  "Yes, I do."

I signed a piece of paper and got a free luau plus $30 off a car rental.  "Make it a convertible."

I boarded Bus 1 to Germaine's Luau at 4:20.  You might think that would be a sign that I was boarding the party bus.  You'd be wrong.  Once I got to the luau, I looked around for a table that might have some fun people.  I chose well.  Bus 2 was the party bus.  They immediately introduced themselves and started talking to me.  The guy front and center in the picture at top volunteered for the men's dance-off.  They brought him on stage wearing a grass skirt and coconut bra.  I wish I'd recorded his dance.  He was hilarious.  He easily won.

The guys were so disappointed...


I wish I had my Flip before I left for Hawaii. The video would be in HD and I'd have the software to edit and rotate.

Bus 2 tried to adopt me.  They said they had some empty seats on their bus, but I wasn't sure how far I'd have to stumble back to my own hotel.  I should have taken them up on their offer.  Normally, the ride back to Waikiki is a continuation of the party.  On my previous trips, the guides taught us cute little songs and had people dancing and laughing...not bus 2 on November 20.  She turned off the lights and let all the wet blankets sleep.

Oh, well...at least I didn't spend the night miserable and alone in my room.

Thursday, November 25, 2010


And I wonder if I ever cross your mind...

   - Lady Antebellum

Things did not go well with Wyoming at all.  It seemed to be all right until we tried to get intimate and it was not good.  In fact, it was pretty awful.  I was going to chalk it up to both of us being nervous and it would be better next time, but he walked out on me.  He made a lame excuse about being worried about where he parked his bike and he left!  Not after we were done...in the middle...before either of us finished.  And he never came back.  No one has ever done that to me before.

He sent me a text that it was nothing like what he would want, along with an insult concerning my hygeine, and to top it off wrote, "And when we went to eat you didn't even offer to help pay or leave a tip."  Are you kidding me?  I bought my own ticket, paid for the room, and he's bitching because he had to buy me dinner?  

I was so upset I started calling men I've been with in the past.  I called the rock star I used to date.  Not a wannabe Wyoming musician - someone with actual albums that were released on a real record label, groupies and fans all over the world, and Slayer covered five of their songs.  If I'm good enough for him, I should be good enough for anybody.  He says he remembers me as being a lot of fun and doesn't recall any issues with odors.  Then he started sexting all night.  Now I've got a rock star on my booty call list.  Yay me.

I IM'd a past partner on Facebook.  "He walked out on me.  He says I smell down there and I'm lousy in bed.  Was that your experience?" 

"That's just wrong," he replied.  "That was not my experience at all."  Then he promised to wear his bunker gear (he's a fireman) if I come visit him the next time I'm in Dallas. 

Woohoo.  All I have to do is make a phone call and I can have sex anytime I want.  These guys are a lot of fun (and buy my dinner without complaining) but I want more than that.  Where are the men that actually want a relationship?  The fact that the men from my past accept my phone calls and want to see me again says something, though.  I am feeling a little better.     

I called the new guy, too.  He didn't answer right away, but texted that he was in a meeting and would call me back as soon as he could.  Then he asked if he was in trouble.  I replied no, I was just miserable and wanted to hear a friendly voice...that he didn't have to call.  He did anyway and we talked for a while.  He said it sounded like Wyoming's issue. 

I couldn't resist texting Wyoming that I had started calling the guys in my phonebook and none of them remember me as smelly or lousy in bed.  If he caught me on a bad day (we were riding around in the heat on his bike) we could easily have remedied that if he'd used a little tact and said, "Let's freshen up first, babe..."  I added that since he is being disappointed by every woman he is meeting it may be time to consider the common denominator - him.

I really had started to think things might work out.  I'm so disappointed.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Mokulua Islands Seabird Sanctuary

We paddled out to the island on the left. 

I signed up for a guided kayak tour (click link for more info) out to Mokulua Island where the seabird sanctuary is located.  Ocean kayaking is much more strenuous than I expected.  Paddling the lake is tiring, but paddling against a current that wants to either push you in to shore or out to sea is exhausting.  I believe I would have made it eventually, but I was slower than the rest of the group.  Other than one of our two guides, I was the only woman in a solo kayak, the others were paddling tandem.  I was grateful for the assistance when the guides hooked up a line to my boat and helped pull me along.  It took around an hour to reach the island.  I also got a little seasick.  Thankfully, the guides had some Dramamine.

Wedge-Tailed Shearwater

Once ashore, we hiked around to the back side of the island to view some of the birds and the Queen's Bath.  There is a large tidepool around 6 feet deep that the queen and her children used to bathe in.  Some of the guys jumped in.  A few large waves hit, tossed them around, and bloodied their arms and legs.  I would not recommend letting your children jump in unless they are excellent swimmers.  There were several fledgling birds along the trail that seemed to not be bothered by our presence at all.  I took a photo of a wedge-tailed shearwater that looked back at us from his resting spot among some rocks. 

Lanakai Beach

Next, we paddled to Lanakai beach for lunch.  I caught a wave on the way.  I heard it coming up behind me, paddled as hard as I could, and zoomed past the guide who said, "You didn't tell me you knew how to kayak surf!"  I don't really.  It was almost an accident.  I caught another one completely by accident as I was landing on the shore.

The tour guides packed sandwiches, chips, and drinks for us, and provided snorkels for those who wanted to explore the reef.  Everyone was saying they couldn't see much and I was tired, so I just relaxed in the sand.  A local guy came up and started talking to me.  He was telling me about island life and how doing business here is different from the mainland.  Everyone has been so nice to me.  It really is a laid-back place.  No one is ever in a hurry.

After lunch, it was much easier to paddle back to Kailua Beach because the current was pushing somewhat in that direction and we didn't have to fight as much.  The guides helped me out a little bit along the way, but I did most of the paddling myself.  Even when they were towing, I kept paddling and didn't make them do all the work.  I was exhausted.  I went back to my hotel and went to sleep.      

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Hawaiian Sunset

I got to spend a few hours with Wyoming today.  He took me around Waikiki on the back of his Harley and then to lunch.  I was worried that I was a secret since he never did add me on Facebook, but that is definitely not the case.  We went to Aloha Towers, where he works, and he introduced me to a few people.  We stepped into a shop where he said they have a bird all the rock stars take pictures with.  The birds were cute, but my favorite was the friendly little lizard with what looked like three horns on his face - like a miniature Triceratops.  He started on my hand and climbed until he was on top of my sunglasses.  Wyoming took the picture with his cell phone and then texted to me, so you can't click to enlarge.  I wish he was more visible.  The bird is not on my head and not pecking at the lizard...

He had to work this evening, so I headed to the zoo by myself.  I got there at 4:00 and they close at 5:30, so they gave me a free ticket for tomorrow to see whatever I missed today.  The animals are more active early in the morning and the evening so that may not be a bad idea to do on purpose.  I took video of the White-Handed Gibbon showing off.

After the zoo closed, I walked across the street to Queen's Surf Beach where I watched the sun go down.  I just missed getting a picture of one of the sailboats casting a shadow in front of the sun as it was disappearing below the horizon.  My camera kept focusing on the trees and I couldn't get past them in time.  I'll have 5 more evenings to get the perfect photograph of a Hawaiian sunset. 

Monday, November 15, 2010


Image from Flickr.

I spent all day traveling and am exhausted.  Wyoming was teasing me about flying Continental because the last time he flew they didn't feed him, didn't show a movie, didn't provide any pillows or blankets...they got nothing.  That was not my experience at all. There was a pillow and blanket on every seat when I boarded.  They rolled out the drink cart at least 4 times and came around offering cold water a few times in addition to that.  They fed us twice - one hot pocket type meal and then a cold sandwich later.  Airplane food has never been that good.  A sandwich is as appetizing as any of that other stuff they used to offer. 

We also had video screens on the seat backs.  I've heard rumors of those, but this is the first time I've been on a flight that had them.  It took me a few minutes to figure out how to turn it on and my neighbor had to help me find the games.  I also had to buy one of their $3 headphones because I couldn't get to mine.  They are yours to keep, however, and you can even plug your own headphones into the adaptor.  In flight entertainment was free.  I watched CSI episodes, Salt starring Angelina Jolie (disappointing, glad it was free), and played card games. 

I took a shuttle bus to Waikiki.  They are located just outside the baggage claim area.  It is 9 dollars one way or $15 round trip.  I'm finally checked into my room and ready to rest up for tomorrow.  I can't wait!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Little Black Dress

I've been too excited to concentrate on anything.  I can't believe I'm finally going to Hawaii in the morning.  Woo hoo!

I spent all day shopping today.  I was only going to pick up a few things but I saw a dress that I couldn't resist.  It's a black halter dress with a collar that looks like a gold choke necklace and a keyhole cutout that provides just a tiny peek of cleavage.  It's been over a year since I bought a new dress and this one actually fit off the rack.  A size 4!  I was looking for a 6 and was annoyed that all they had was the 4 and an 8.  I was shocked.       

Then I had to head to Victoria's Secret to get a strapless bra to wear under it.  They had a sale on pretties so, of course, I had to get some of them.  They were 7 for $25.  I couldn't pass that up.  Oh, and we can't wear a nice dress without the right accessories.  I hunted until I found just the right earrings, bracelet, shoes, and handbag.   

Now I just got off the phone with Wyoming who told me not to even bother bringing any pants, just shorts.  Hawaii is a very laid-back, casual place.  "Don't even bring socks", he said.  "Flip flops is what you'll be wearing."  He laughed at me for shopping before I got to one of the best places on earth to shop.  I guess he's never been to The Galleria in Houston and so he doesn't realize I don't need to go all the way to Hawaii for that.  In fact, other than souvenirs, shopping is the last thing I want to do when I get there.  

He doesn't know it yet, but he's going to help me find a place to wear that dress, dammit.  It's been a long time since I got all gussied up.   

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Facebook Creeps

Wyoming and I are actually getting along very well now.  He's talking about spending as much time as possible with me during my initial visit next week and wanting me to move in with him if all goes well.  He's not talking just as friends, either.  He's using the words "relationship" and "couple".  *gasp*  Apparently, he couldn't wrap his head around the distance issue.  When he found out I was considering a move, his attitude changed.  I'm trying not to ruin it by starting another fight involving Facebook.    

He's back on Facebook but I'm no longer his friend.  He deleted me when we were fighting.  Yes, I sent a request.  I'm more than a little annoyed because that girl that moved in with them for 3 days and they kicked her out is still on his friend list.  I hate myself for being so jealous.  It's just Facebook.  I can't think of much that would be dumber to fight over.  I like all of you guys, but you're not invited to my Facebook page.  I really can understand not adding someone you found on the internet until you get more than 3 hours together in real life.  So why does it feel like a slap in the face?

Should I insist that he add me if I do end up moving in?  I want that relationship status to say "in a relationship" with ME! 

I don't want to be guilty of the behavior in today's video, though.  Plus, I've got a blog that I don't let anyone read...

Monday, November 8, 2010

Avon Giveaway and Update: Inventory

I took advantage of my 40% discount on my first four campaigns by stocking up on items that were on sale.  Some of the products were already on sale for 50% off or more and I got my rep discount on top of that.  For instance, a Skin So Soft hand cream that normally sells for $3 was on sale for $1 and  I paid 60 cents.   Eye liners that normally sell for $5 were on sale for $2 and I paid $1.20.  I've acquired quite an inventory.  I suspect I have close to $1000 worth of merchandise, but I spent less than $400.  I'll know for sure once I'm done documenting all of it. 

I spent a couple of hours putting together a spreadsheet of my inventory including products, color, regular price, current campaign price, etc.  I'm at 101 items and I'm still not done.  I was originally marking prices on the merchandise, but since that can change every two weeks it has become too time consuming.  The spreadsheet will make it much easier once it's complete.

I'm going to use my inventory to put together a prize package to carry when I'm going door to door.  Anyone who gives me their contact information will be entered into a monthly drawing.  I've put one together to give away on my blog as well.

The included items:

1) Skin So Soft mini - 1.7 fl. oz. - original creamy body wash - value $0.99
2) Skin So Soft mini - 1.7 fl. oz. - soft & sensual replenishing body lotion - value $0.99
3) Skin So Soft - 3.4 fl. oz. - soft & sensual replenishing hand cream - value $3.00
4) Healthy Makeup eyeshadow - platinum - value $8.00
5) Healthy Makeup lipstick - Fresh Berry - value $9.00
6) Big Color Eye Pencil - slate - value $6.00
7) Ultra Luxury Eye Liner - metallic turquoise - value $5.00
8) Glazewear Lip Gloss - iced pink - value $6.00
9) Speed Dry Nail Enamel - electric purple - value $4.50
10)  Avon naturals shower gel - pomegranate & mango - value $6.00

Total Value = $49.50.  Shall we round up to $50?  This is a better prize than my other giveaways, so you must follow my blog to be eligible to win.

To enter:

One REQUIRED entry:  Follow my blog with GFC and leave a comment.  After you have completed the required entry, you may earn additional entries by completing the below: 

3 additional entries:  Register on my Avon website (no purchase required). http://jenniferdavidson.avonrepresentative.com/.  Leave 3 separate comments.

2 additional entries:  Follow me on Twitter.  https://twitter.com/#!/Jnnfr271  Leave 2 separate comments.

1 additional entry:  Tweet about this contest.  Be sure to include a link to this post, not my blog main. Leave 1 additional comment.

The winner will be chosen using Random.com, will be notified by email, and will have 48 hours to respond.  Please remember to leave a valid email address in your comment if it is not visible on your public profile.

Contest closed.  Congratulations to Shanee.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Hawaii, Haircuts, and Hurt Feelings

hair cut, originally uploaded by Sjafiroeddin, C.
Image from Flickr.

I wanted to get my hair cut before I go to Hawaii, so I scheduled an appointment with my favorite hairdresser, the same one who did the keratin treatment. My daughter was looking at me funny last night.

"Did you straighten your hair?" she asked.

"Claudia did."

"You got your hair cut?"

"I'll let you do it next time, I promise. I want you to color it before I go to Hawaii."

I know she's good at cutting hair, but mine has a mind of it's own. My bangs will shrink to tiny little spikes that stand upright if you're not very careful. Claudia understands my hair.

I think I hurt her feelings. I feel like a horrible mother.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

I've Been Served

Back off, I'll take you on...

  - Trapt

He came knocking again...at 10:00 p.m.!  My daughter called to say she was afraid to come home because he was lurking outside the door.  This made me so angry, I threw open the door and started yelling at him.  He took a step back, his eyes wide.  

He did have papers to serve.  One of my creditors is suing me in small claims court.  While there is no garnishment of wages in Texas, they might be able to attach (is that the right word?) my bank account.  I guess I'll be visiting a lawyer next week.  Maybe a deal can be made out of court.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

He's Back

Make no sound, tip-toe across the floor
If he hears, he'll knock all day

  - Men at Work

Last night, there was somebody knocking on the door again.  I tried to look through the peephole, but I'm too short (5'1"), so my daughter (5'7") took a turn.  "I can't see anything.  The porch light is out.  All I can see is black."

Not wanting to answer the door if we were not expecting anyone and couldn't see who it was, we ignored him.  We were tip-toeing around and whispering like we forgot to buy Halloween candy, trying not to make any noise.  He kept knocking for at least 20 minutes.  No wonder my daughter was scared.  He left another PI card.  Did I mention the name on the front is not the same name he scribbled on the back?  The phone number is different, as well.

Today - more loud knocking.  This time he left and then came back.  He also started pounding on the door across the hall and left a card on both.  These are different cards, though.  He left not PI cards, but Texas Process Server business cards with the name that was on the back of the PI cards.  Sound shady yet?

Both times I was served before - divorce papers and when my ex sued for custody - a constable delivered the papers.  What does a Texas Process Server deliver?  Why doesn't he answer the phone or return calls explaining the nature of his visit?  And why is he trying to involve my neighbors?     

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Calm Down...It's Not That Serious

Image from Flickr.

I know most teachers don't get the respect they deserve. To all of those wonderful teachers my daughter has had over the years...THANK YOU...and this post is not for you. This post is for the lame teachers that call for dumbass reasons. Like the one that had my daughter call me at work because she left her folder in her locker. Seriously? You called me at work for that. Tell her to go get it. Take points off her daily participation grade.

Today, I received an email from her Cosmotology teacher asking me to call. She lost her clippers. I had to listen to her go on and on about how she gave a list of supplies at the beginning of the school year and clippers was on it, but my daughter never spoke up and said she needed any. She had the opportunity to order some clippers and didn't. Of course I had to state the obvious and tell her she probably had her clippers at the beginning of the school year. Maybe she took them to her father's to cut his hair and lost them. I kept trying to interrupt and ask, "What would you like me to do about the clippers?" Finally, I was told we could purchase some at Sally's Beauty Supply.

Was it really necessary to use so many of my minutes for that? Could she not have just asked me in the email to please purchase some clippers? Did it require this much drama?

I'm seriously considering notifying all of her teachers that I am happy to schedule a conference concerning her progress if warranted, but if they are asking for an urgent returned call there had better be something on fire or at least some blood.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Blog Hops



Looking for new blogs to follow or new followers?  Play along by clicking the badges.

Avon Update and Giveaway: Writer's Cramp

When you order 100 brochures to pass out, you have to write your name, telephone number, and website 100 times.  I need to invest in a stamp. 

I've given up writing my email address because no one can read it.  I've also stopped writing an expiration date because it's too confusing.  You can only shop from the current brochure online, but I can sell out of 3 brochures at a time (very helpful to new reps).  I was trying to put both dates on the brochures, but I'm not sure customers really understood.  I've decided that in the interest of gaining new customers it's best to honor the prices listed in whatever brochure she's got in her hands.    

I've started my Christmas shopping!  Avon has stocking stuffers and Secret Santa gifts galore, some of which are pictured above.  I bought hand creams, lip balms, and bubble bath minis to put in little gift bags for my family and friends.  Money is tight this year, so I'm on a limited budget.  These were perfect.  The earrings were $6 for the set of 2 boxes, and the other items were less than a dollar each. 

If you have people in your life who might appreciate these in their stockings, you can buy them from my online store:   http://jenniferdavidson.avonrepresentative.com/.   

I'm going to ask some of my friends and customers if they will host Avon parties for me.  I'd like to stock up on seasonal merchandise to have on hand.  Once again, I'm asking for help to decide what to buy.  I'm giving away the above earring set to one lucky winner.  To enter, click here then leave in a comment which jewelry giftset you'd be most likely to give to someone.  You guys can participate, too.  You know you've got Secret Santa gifts to buy as well as shopping for your sisters, daughters, girlfriends, wives...      

I'm experimenting with extra entries on this one.  In addition to the required entry mentioned above, for each of the following you can earn one additional entry.  Leave one comment for each:

1)  Follow my blog on Google Friend Connect.
2)  Register at my e store (no purchase required):    http://jenniferdavidson.avonrepresentative.com/register.html?cmd=register

The winner will be selected using Random.com.  Last day to enter:  November 24, 2010. 
Don't forget to leave your email address if it's not on your public profile.

CONTEST CLOSED.  Congratulations to Emily.

Monday, November 1, 2010

I Hear You Knockin'

...but you can't come in...

Today I found a private investigator's card on my door with a note on the back to please call.  In my experience, these people don't easily go away so I thought I could make a quick call, answer a few questions, and be done with it.  I left him a voice mail:  "I found your card on my door.  I'm not sure what this is about."  I did not leave my name or number.  If he was hired by the person I think, he already has that info.

I went for a bike ride and my phone started vibrating.  It was my daughter.  "There's a man in a suit at the door and he won't go away." 

Now I'm annoyed.  Can he not just return a phone call?  I called his number again.  Of course he still didn't answer.  Now I'm pissed.  "If that's you at my door, I'm not home and you're scaring my daughter.  GO AWAY!"

Then I texted the new guy.  "Does the PI at my door belong to your wife?"  He says no, he can't imagine why she would still have PI's checking up on him.  My money says he's the one getting played...

I did not hurry home for that idiot.  I rode an additional 5 miles before returning to find another card from the same PI's office with the same note on the back.  Maybe I'll call him again tomorrow, maybe I won't. 

I didn't get laid.  Not even phone sex.  We never so much as kissed.  At least let me sin a little if I'm going to have to deal with all this drama.     


If music moves you, too...head on over to link up or just see what everyone else posted.