Just Go

Instead of making me better, you keep making me ill...
  
     - Pink




The new guy told me he's trying to work things out with his wife, so why is he still texting me?  I can understand keeping your options open when you first meet someone...until you know if it's going anywhere...might even agree that's the smart thing to do...if you're not married.  What's his wife going to think if she finds that on his phone now?  Not cool.

I'll Miss Houston Food

Steak Fajitas with guacamole, originally uploaded by GilmourCreative.

Image from Flickr.


I have 15 days to get my bikini body on. I need to limit eating out and absolutely no more fast food. I just ate my last Homestyle Angus Burger from McDonald's for a while. Angus beef with lots of mustard and pepper, no mayonnaise...mmmmm. They have McDonald's everywhere but you can only get this burger in Texas. I'm going to miss it...and Tex-Mex. Can I even find fajitas in Honolulu? Or chili con queso?

Houston actually has quite a variety of good food. We have Vietnamese noodle houses, Taquerias, Italian, Thai, the best steak houses on earth (Japanese and Texan), Gulf seafood, Cajun, sushi...anything you can think of with enough competition that they have to be good or they won't stay in business very long. I'm a little spoiled, I think.

Garnishment of Wages

Free of credit cards, originally uploaded by pongky ©.

Image from Flickr.

In the great state of Texas, credit card companies are not allowed to garnish wages so they're not likely to do anything except lower your credit score. I just checked Hawaii, however, and they can take 20% of my disposable income. Ack!

Is it just the credit card companies that can do it, I wonder, or can the companies that bought my debt do it as well?

That's not going to stop me from going. It is all the more reason to try to sell as much Avon as possible.

Ridin'

Two girls riding bikes on Morro Strand State Beach, Morro Bay, CA July 1, 2004 01july2004 IMG_5350, originally uploaded by mikebaird.

Not us. Image from Flickr.

"Wanna go for a ride?" asked my daughter.

"Yes!" I struggled not to jump up and down squealing like a little girl. My daughter wants to go for a bike ride with me! Yay!

I couldn't find my inhaler, but went anyway. We made it 7 miles with no problem. She outpaced me. I wonder if it would have been the other way around had I used my inhaler before we left. The last time I tried without medicating myself first, I made it less than a mile. My asthma is improving. Hooray again!

P.S. Apparently there was a naked bike ride recently, which I discovered searching for a photo on Flickr. There may be permanent vision (and psychological) damage...

First Telephone Sale

Webcor ZIP Jumbo Button Telephone model 768SW, 1980s, originally uploaded by galessa's plastics.

Image from Flickr.

I got my first Avon sale via telephone! She found one of the brochures I left in an apartment complex laundry room, so guess what I'm doing tommorrow? I should probably avoid the ones with signs that say "No Soliciting", or that have access gates. I'll see how many apartment complexes I can find that have neither.

Ack! I already placed my order, which means I have to pay shipping on a second order placed in the same campaign. I also forgot to mention the 75 cent customer fee in my excitement, so I'm not charging her. Lesson learned: Start your orders ahead of time, but don't hit send until the last minute.

I Have a Full-Time Job

 

Avon!  Yep.  I keep reading in my research online and some of the comments you guys have made that the people who are able to earn significant money selling Avon are the ones who put in the work, just like any other new business.  So, for the next few weeks I'm going to put in some serious hours.  I went door-to-door  again.  I also decorated the bulletin boards in all three laundry rooms on the property with my brochures. (Above is one of the big ones we buy and three of the smaller ones that ship free with our orders.)  I'm ordering 100 brochures and the goal is to give them all out in less than two weeks.  It's a 20 dollar investment.  We'll see if it pays off.

Revolving Door

080409 revolving door-1, originally uploaded by Dan4th.

Image from Flickr.


Yep. We were right not to get too involved with the new guy. I got another text today that things had changed a lot for him in the past few weeks...his wife wants to work things out. I think he's stupid to go back to someone who keeps throwing him out, but that's not my decision. Besides, I don't want anyone who doesn't want me.

Wow.  This one didn't even last long enough to get a proper nickname...

Flip Side of Jealousy

STOCK IMAGE EYE EDITED - GREEN WITH ENVY - (PART OF THE 7 DEADLY SINS SERIES), originally uploaded by Moments Captured In Time.

Image from Flickr.

Text from the new guy:
"I think my wife found your number in my phone...hopefully she won't call you..."

I called and said, "That woman doesn't frighten me."

Evil troublemaker me wants to send a few suggestive texts and a photo for her to "find". She threw him out and filed for divorce. What business does she have looking at his phone? And he can add whoever he wants on Facebook.

Logical me knows that will be counter-productive. Besides, there may be more to his story than he's telling. All the more reason to make sure we keep it at a friendship level and not even be alone together until he sorts all this out...I don't need the drama...but maybe I'll be in Hawaii by then...

Avon Giveaway and Update: My First e-Customer!

I logged into my Avon account to find I've acquired my first local e-Customer!  She placed an order for 92 dollars!  Hooray!  I Googled her address and saw that she does not live in one of the neighborhoods where I passed out the flyers or knocked on doors, though.  She must have seen an Avon commercial and done a search for her local representative. 

I only get my automatic 40% discount for new reps on one more campaign, so I'm going to start selling my inventory for current brochure prices.  I can buy on sale for half off, then sell at full price.  If it goes back on sale, I'll be able to honor the lower price and still make 20%.  Maybe since things are so much more expensive in Hawaii, I'll have more customers there.  Avon is very reasonably priced and good quality to boot.  The only thing I hated as a customer was waiting for delivery.  I probably would have bought more if my rep had the products on hand, so that's what I'm going to try to do as much as possible.

You guys always give me an idea of what colors to buy when you tell me your faves, so I'm hosting another giveaway.  Glimmersticks for eyes, brows and lips will be on sale soon and I want to stock up while they cost less.  They'll be 4 for $10 (regular price $6 each), so you can do the same on my website 10/27 thru 11/09.  http://jenniferdavidson.avonrepresentative.com/ .  If you want to shop today thru 10/26, you can stock up on  Wash-Off Waterproof Mascara for $1.99 (regular price $6.50).  Use Glimmersticks or Wash-off Waterproof Mascara as your search words.

I will give away one Glimmerstick.  To enter, click here and choose any of the options except the $25 collection and tell me your favorite color.  I'll know which one you chose by the color name.  I already checked and there aren't any duplicates. 

Please remember to leave an email address in the comment if it's not visible on your profile.

**Last day to enter is 11/09/2010.

CONTEST CLOSED.  Congratulations to KelseyA.  I'm a little late notifying...

It's On

I've only used Monster, Craig's List, and Yellow Pages so far...I need to give this a try...



I've updated my resume and begun sending them to companies in Hawaii.  I actually found two listings in the import / export business on Craig's List.  I don't know how seriously they'll take an applicant who isn't local, but maybe my 13 years of industry experience will make them curious enough to at least call.  I'm looking up temp agencies on the island and registering with them as well.

One of the websites didn't allow me to fill out an application online but had a PDF file to print, complete, and fax.  Where can I fax to a long distance number?  Does Kinkos do that?

I also bought my plane ticket and reserved my room in Waikiki for a week.  And no, I didn't put it on my new credit card.

Avon Calling

I actually put a little effort into my Avon business by going door to door in my neighborhood.  I chose one street and armed myself with brochures, perfume samples, and some of the product inventory I've acquired.

The first woman who answered the door said she loved Avon and welcomed me into her home.  She was so excited, I'm adding her to my email list and told her I'd call before I placed my order if she'd like.  She bought some lip gloss on the spot and said she'd look through the brochure. She probably would have bought some lip liner, but I left that at home.  The bag was heavy enough with the stuff I did take.  I'll drive next time so I can bring it all. 

She also asked if I had any plumping lipstick.  It never occurred to me to buy any of that because one thing I don't need is bigger lips.  Is that something that a lot of people like to use? 

Another woman was trying to find some Avon lipstick she was out of and wanted more.  She couldn't find it.  Too bad I didn't take lipstick samples with me - I could have said, "Here.  Try some of these."  I'm going to order every lipstick sample I can so I'll be ready next time.

FICO = Confusing Voodoo Numbers

Since I'm going to be job and apartment hunting soon, I decided it was time to check on my credit score.  Ack! 

I have a bunch of charged off accounts.  According to Suze Ormann, " If the state statute of limitations hasn't yet run out, paying something on your charged-off accounts will not help clear up your credit report and may start the collection agencies' clock ticking anew, so once again, think hard before you do this. Only time will repair your credit report-specifically, the seven years it takes until the credit bureau must, by law, remove the debt notation."  So, paying off these debts will not improve my score.    http://www.suzeorman.com/igsbase/igstemplate.cfm?SRC=MD012&SRCN=aoedetails&GnavID=84&SnavID=20&TnavID=&AreasofExpertiseID=19 I should have sued my ex for child support much sooner instead of letting him bully me and using credit cards to bridge the gap.

Also, I should have kept at least one or two of my credit card accounts active. I have on time payments for 2 cars, but that's not enough.  I need to have a credit card account to improve my score, but I don't qualify for a good rate on an unsecured card and I refuse to pay the ridiculous annual fees and interest the others charge.  I decided to apply for a secured card instead.  I started with my own bank, half expecting to be denied since one of my charged off accounts is with them.  Surprise!  I'm approved.  Using this card will improve my score since, unlike prepaid cards, it is reported to the credit bureaus.

Lesson learned:  Whether you've gotten into financial trouble or done the good deed and paid off all of your cards, keep the one you've had the longest open with a small balance which you pay on time.   

Hands Up, Chin Down

My old gym.  They left a message on my recorder asking me if I wanted to help with the commercial and I didn't check my messages until the day after it filmed.  I missed my big break.  :(

 

He did try to give me his new number.  I got a text from an 808 number that I thought was spam, but it was him.  I feel a little stupid.  Why am I letting such trivial things bother me?  That must come off as more than a little insecure, which is not attractive. 
 
I'm trusting myself.  I've been solo traveling for a long time now.  I've got more than enough money to get my own room and to get myself home.  I've also got several years of Kung Fu and Muay Thai. 

I'm booking a round trip ticket, but I will be going prepared to start looking for a job and a place to stay.

Disconnected

Clock is ticking while I'm stealing time
Can't you turn it back?
Stop the cycle set it free and run away

- Lacuna Coil





The last time we talked, Wyoming told me how excited he was about my visit and had changed his tune from my coming just as a friend to hoping that we got along so well that I'd be rooming with him in his actual bedroom - that maybe we'd be in a relationship.  Apparently, they didn't get the house they wanted and the one they did get isn't as big.  It was less scary when we were just going to be friends and I'd have my own room.

The very next day, I tried to call and got a recording that the number has been changed, disconnected, or is no longer in service.  I was trying to let him know when I'd be there.  I'm tempted to email the dates I'll be in Hawaii and that I hope to see him, but if he doesn't give me the new number I will not be attempting any more contact with him ever.  I'm already trying way too hard.

I'm debating whether to go ahead with my plans or delay them for a couple of months.  If I choose to go, I'm not going to visit the beach near his house hoping to bump into him, or the club(s) where he works.  If he happens to call, I might decide to let him know I'm there.  Otherwise, he hopefully won't have a clue.    

I should be able to keep busy enough to not think about him too much, right?  And it's not like he's the only good-looking guy in Hawaii...

Searching for More Baskets

Since July, Wyoming has gone from:

- I'm putting all my eggs in one basket.  I want to see where this goes.

To:

- You should be going on dates.  We're not a couple.
- Nothing can happen right now.  Maybe in a year things might be different.
- I'm not too interested any more.
- You can come be a roommate, but you have to come as a friend.  We're not in a relationship.

And now:

-Come for a visit and let's see how things go.  Maybe we'll get along great and decide we're going to be a couple.

He's giving me whiplash.

I am getting excited about my trip to Hawaii, but I'm in I'll-believe-it-when-it-happens mode when it comes to any kind of relationship with Wyoming. I'm not even going to wait for him to confirm the dates before I book my trip.  I do hope I get to see him. I may even spend a couple of hours sobbing if I don't. I will get over it, though.  I'm still scared to go it alone, but doing it anyway.  Better to rely on myself than someone who may or may not come through for me.

I'll sign up with temp agencies while I'm there and start scoping out alternative plans for housing.  Craig's List is full of people searching for roommates.

Research

Image from Flickr.


I've been reading up on making a move to Hawaii.  There's a lot of information and advice available on the internet.

Bring 10,000 dollars.  - check (twice)
Find a roommate.  -  working on that
Be open to finding whatever work is available.  -  OK
Be prepared to work two or more part-time jobs before you find your dream job. -  Can do.
Some even suggest you can camp out for awhile.  I don't mind sleeping in a tent...

I think Wyoming was half-joking when he threw out the offer.  I don't know how his friends will feel about bringing in some chick he found on the internet.  I let him know I wouldn't be showing up with 750 dollars to my name and expecting them to help me out like that last girl did.  I'll take a drug test. I'll come for a visit and meet everyone first.  I'm very serious.

I think I'm still going to do it even if this falls through.  I'm so ready for a fresh start somewhere I can hardly stand it.  I am afraid to go it alone until after my daughter graduates, though, so preparing Plan B just in case.  What does one have to do to become a  bartender in Texas?

Demented Devil Cat

Aaaw...what an adorable kitty...NOT!!!

My sister came to visit and my sweet, loving Faith turned into a  monster.  I awoke to the sound of hissing and very loud yowls such as you hear when strays are fighting outside.  My sister was hiding in my daughter's bedroom saying, "She tried to kill me," through the closed door.  I've witnessed her hissing and spitting at guests and I've heard stories of her chasing the maintenance men out of my apartment, but I've never seen her behaving quite so badly.

Lord help anyone who tries to break in here.  I've got an attack cat.     

Exchanging Pics

I used to post lots of pics of myself on another blog.  I enjoyed the attention at first.  I went in the complete opposite direction with this one.     

I also used to send seductive pictures to men when they asked.  I never sent any to Wyoming.  When he said he was sending pics I would tell him to keep it PG.  When the conversation started to get intimate, I'd shut him down immediately.  For two years.  He says he never knew if any affection would be welcome.  He didn't know if I was interested in him like that.  Guess I overdid it.  After two years I finally sent a few sexy, but still PG-13 pics.  The above is one of them.  Sorry guys, you don't get to see the rest.

After I sent them I thought, "Maybe I should have put some makeup on.  Or done something with my hair."  I've gotten so used to taking photos without doing either that I just didn't even think about it.  Oops...    

I've also told him I'm very interested in taking him up on that rommate offer, if he's serious.  I have 13 years experience in import/export and he's on an island where everything has to be shipped in.  I'll pay 2 months rent before I move in (more if they ask).  I want that room no matter what happens with us.  I'm not chasing a guy, I'm chasing a career opportunity.  I know people aren't going to see it that way, though.  I'm going to get a lot of flack...  

Should I?

I've been on a ride
And caught up in the landslide
But I'm gonna spread my wings and fly...

- Nikka Costa

Couldn't find an official video.   BSG almost as good.  Dare you to click play and not dance...






Wow.  What a difference a couple of days make.  He's now saying things like he doesn't want to lose me and we're talking seriously about a visit.  He has even suggested that they are looking for another roommate and I could come as a friend.  I think I'm completely losing my mind because I'm considering it.

I've been dreaming of living in Hawaii since high school.  Right now, I still have enough money to come home if I can't find a good job.  If I continue the way I am, I'll be completely broke by the time my daughter graduates - maybe before.  Perhaps I should go for a couple of months while still holding onto my apartment here?  If things work out with him, wonderful.  If I end up with a great job in Hawaii - hooray.  If neither happens, I come home.

If my daughter wasn't still in school, I'd already be booking my flight. She's 18 in a couple of months. She could stay here with some financial assistance and someone to check on her.  She's still my first priority.  I have to give this some serious thought.

Rise Above This

I'll mend myself before it gets me...




Thanks for all of your support, guys.  The stress of unemployment is getting to me.  Disappointments have been amplified.  My insecurity is causing problems.  I need to go get some kind of job SOON.  Someone suggested a way to get some stress release (you need to get laid)...I'm working on that.  I'm not willing to go do that with just anyone, but it may be years before I get married again and sorry to my ultra-conservative readers - I love you and respect your views, but I'm not waiting that long. 

You attract what you are and I'm a mess.  I'll get better, though.

I was going to add this as a comment in response to some of you, but realized I'd written a post:

No dislike of men, just frustration. Some of them need to be kicked out.


I've talked to both guys and everything is fine now.


The new guy's attorney has advised him it's best not to go looking for a girlfriend just yet. I think it's better to wait until his divorce is final, too.


Wyoming and I are talking about visiting again, but not even trying to pretend we're in a relationship...yet...


No, it's not just about sex. We've not even kissed yet. I never will believe that with him because he's a musician with beautiful groupies throwing that at him. I know men find me attractive, but he could easily find a hotter piece that is far less demanding and much more accessible. Your average guy will say or do just about anything long enough to get laid. Your rockstar type will say, "that's too much effort for some sex" and he'll mean it.  

Que Sera Sera

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

-Natasha Bedingfield




I've been remembering how happy I was before, when I wasn't so worried about the future.  I was enjoying today.  I've been single since 1995, and I have not been miserable for 15 years.  I've been pretty darned happy.  I kept men around as long as I enjoyed their company.  When being with them was no longer fun, I kicked them out.  I want to go back to those days.  

I can't help thinking if I hadn't been so concerned with where we were headed, maybe things would be different.  Maybe if I just relaxed and let things happen instead of trying to make them happen...

I accepted the call from Wyoming.  And I'm still talking to the new guy.  I don't have any idea if either one will be in my future and I'm actually okay with that. 

Yes, I would still like to be in a relationship if I find the right person.  That may take a while.  Not everyone is going to be okay with me taking off on road trips alone.  I've been told I'm different more than once...and it wasn't always a compliment. 


P.S.  Every time I talk to the new guy, he asks if I've heard from "that guy in Hawaii."  Every time I talk to Wyoming, he asks if I'm seeing anybody.  I respond, "I'm talking to someone," but I give them each as few details as possible.  What the hell?  I thought you guys didn't want to hear us talking about other men.        

Off the Hook

Image from Flickr.


I have a prepaid cell phone because I don't spend much time on the phone.  I buy 1000 minutes for 100 dollars and it takes 3 to 6 months for me to use them all.  Suddenly this week, everyone is calling.

First, my stylist friend called because she needed a hair model.  I got a free keratin treatment out of the deal and I love my hair!  It's smooth, shiny, and not frizzy at all, even in the Houston humidity.

Then my sister called.  She's coming down for a visit and wants to stay a night with me.  Now I really do need to get my apartment cleaned up.

Next, the new guy called.  He says he's getting his stuff moved out of his house and he's talking to a lawyer.  I know that marriage was over before he met me, but it feels a little strange being the catalyst.

Another friend called saying she saw my Avon flyers.  She had been trying to recruit me to sell Mary Kay, so she thought I was avoiding her, thinking she'd be mad.  I did wonder if she'd be hurt, but I always knew she'd still be my friend.

My daughter even called...from her bedroom.  She was home sick from school.  "Can you bring me some orange juice?"

And one call very late in the evening.  I stared in disbelief at the caller ID, letting it ring for a while.  No way.  Wyoming...

       

    

Deja Vu

Don’t want your hand this time
I’ll save myself
Maybe I’ll wake up for once

-Evanescence


The new guy says he really wants to see me but he's going through a divorce and his ex has hired someone to follow him taking pictures.  (For what purpose?  Texas is a no-fault, community property state.) 

I want to see you but... Didn't I just end this game with someone else?  Don't want to play any more. 

Me:  Having a deja vu moment.
Him:  Deja vu moment?
Me:  Like maybe I should tell you to call me when you're ready to do some of these things we're talking about.
Him:  I can't wait.
Me:  Good.  Go sort out whatever you need to sort out then come back and prove it.
Him:  I will.

I'll let you know if and when he does.  

Huntsville State Park

I'm trying to keep busy.  This weekend it was a camping trip at Huntsville State Park.  Those are just a few of our tents pictured above.  I've had that Timber Creek tent for over 10 years now.  I bought it on sale at Academy for $25.  They don't generally get very good reviews, but I've had no major problems with mine.  I did get wet once, but a three-dollar bottle of seam sealer took care of that.  Now it has to rain very hard for a very long time and then maybe a tablespoon or two of water will get in - not enough to ruin a trip.  I've never had it collapse on me, either, no matter how hard the wind blew. 

We went for a hike around the lake and found 7 geocaches.  I dropped off some travel bugs I've had for too long.  I thought I took pictures of them, but I can't find any.  Remember the Boy Scouts pinewood derby cars?  They made some they are racing as TB's.  Anyone interested in viewing the trackable or where it's been can click here.  "Prizes will be awarded for cars that travel the farthest, pass through the most hands, and have the most creative route, among others," according to the website.   

We had an armored visitor to our campsite.  It's unusual to see armadillos during the daytime, much less one that strolls into camp despite there being 20 people and 3 dogs around.  I heard him rustling around at night, too.  I spotted him on my way to the bathroom.  People staring and taking pics don't phaze him, but he didn't like a flashlight shining on his back.  

At the end of the weekend, I put out my Avon on the picnic table and actually sold a few items.  I made my first sale!  Woo hoo!         

Happy Birthday to Me

Image from Flickr.


I didn't even remember it was my birthday until I noticed all the comments on my Facebook wall.  Am I really 42?  I don't feel it. 


I didn't do anything to celebrate my birthday.  I should treat myself to something tomorrow.  Not sure what.       

One of Those

Image from Flickr.

(724): About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore. http://tfl.nu/twc0
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/ :  At least I didn't send that.


I've become one of those insane women that make men cringe.  I've completely lost my mind.  I don't know how many texts I sent that last day - and kept sending even though he wasn't responding.  I kept changing my mind, apologizing then saying, "No!  I meant it!" ten minutes later. 

I should have unleashed my madness here.  I should type late night texts and emails here and hit publish instead of hitting send on my cell.  The diary of a crazy woman might even be more interesting to read than, "Everything's great.  I have a perfect life."

He did finally reply that he's no longer interested.  Can I at least console myself in the fact that he probably had already decided whether or not he was going to pursue a relationship with me and it really didn't make much difference what I did at that point?  I get the impression I just gave him a convenient way to blame it all on me, it wasn't going to happen anyway.

Job Interview

A temp agency contacted me to try to recruit me for an import position that pays 15 dollars an hour.  That's not as much as I would earn full time and I will get no benefits, but it is steady work that will make my savings last longer.  The hours aren't horrible:  10-6:30, which will allow me to miss most of the rush hour traffic.

What did I do with that blazer I bought for job interviews?  Has anyone seen my social security card?  Where the heck are my work clothes?  Time to search the closet.  I'm frightened.  It's scary in there.

Lakehouse Weekend

One of the newer members of our outdoor club hosted a weekend at his lakehouse for 20 of us this weekend.  My GPS took me to the correct street, but then dropped me.  I saw a house with a bunch of people and a lot of cars so I drove up and parked.  I didn't recognize anyone so I asked, "What is the address here?"  Oops...wrong party...

I backtracked to the beginning of the road and followed the directions that were emailed.  I finally found the correct party well after dark.

 

The first night I slept in the house.  There were people on the couches, all three beds, and on the floor.  The second night there were even more people so some of us, including me, pitched our tents.  I had the window open at first but the dog tried to crawl in so I had to close it.  He went away but came back a few minutes later, whimpering.  We think he'd been recently abandoned by his owner and decided to adopt us.  

That dog followed us everywhere - hiking, biking, and even into the water.  He tried to jump in the boats.  When someone decided to take him for a ride in one of the kayaks, though, he wanted no part of it. 

Click on the photo below for a closer look at the redneck boat dock.       

I met someone new.  The rule is:  If it happens at BCO, it gets posted on Facebook and the club website.  I guess that means it's also ok to post here. 

Yep, that's me in the purple sleeves and that's him looking at me.  We spent the entire weekend just hanging out and talking.  I was rocking the frizzy-haired, no makeup look so he's already seen me that way.  Maybe I'll start trying to meet more average, attractive, nice guys and less guys that are knee-melting, swooning hot but treat me like crap or ignore me. 

No, I don't know where it's going but he's real, he's local, he's respectful, and he calls.  (Did I mention he's a geocacher?)