Monday, October 12, 2009

Am I in Junior High?

I don't make good decisions when I drink. I don't drink beer or wine, I shoot Patron (tequila). I drink to get drunk. I don't have one or two shots, I have 3 or 4. Since I don't do this very often, no one thinks I have a drinking problem. I had a couple of experiences recently that have made me decide I need to quit, at least for a little while.

I went to see a live band with one of the Meetup groups and there was a new guy in the group that was cute, so I invited him to sit next to me and talk. He apparently thought it meant bite me hard enough to leave a bruise on my arm in the shape of teeth, wrap the beads I'm wearing around my neck and pull until they break. I thought he was funny at first, and didn't even realize he had bitten me until I found the bruise the next day. If I had been sober, I would have been a better judge of character.

I went to see my friend's band play at another club. They are looking for a new singer, and one of the guys auditioning for the job started hitting on me. Again, I had 4 shots of tequila and for some reason decided to leave with him. We went to another bar, where I think it's possible I had a fifth shot. I ended up at his apartment because I was too drunk to drive. One thing led to another and we ended up in bed. I'm over 21 and not in a committed relationship, so I don't feel guilty about that much. I was willing until he refused to wear a condom. I told him nothing else was happening unless he did. He did it anyway! I had to hit him to get him off of me! If that wasn't bad enough, I didn't leave. I stayed the rest of the night - another bad decision. He didn't try anything else after I hit him, but that was not a smart move.

My friends know these things happened to me, so I would have thought they would support my decision to take a break from drinking. They didn't. We went to a music festival and they kept trying to buy me drinks and insisting that I needed one because I didn't look like I was having a good time. I was having a great time listening to the bands until they started harassing me about not drinking. If I say I don't want a drink, I don't want a drink!

I'm the one without a drink. Do I look like I wasn't having fun? I think I enjoyed the festival more because I was sober. I didn't get sick, didn't lose my balance and fall in the mud, and I remember everything.


f8hasit said...

My ex-husband is in the 'program' (AA). He's now been sober for 8 years. He's a better person because of it.

When going through my divorce I drank too much and landed myself a DUI. Twice. Not good. I took a break and was court ordered to attend AA meetings. But I'm not an alchololic, I just overindulged because of emotional issues. When I did take a break from drinking some of my friends reacted the same way yours did. They tried to force it on me.

Just do what feels right to YOU. It's not about not drinking or drinking, it's about what is good for you. It's about moderation. Everyone has times when they overindulge, I know I do. Sometimes it's fun! (in a controlled environment when bad things won't happen) but I've been where you are.

Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. You'll be okay.

And thanks for stopping by (and commenting!) on my site. You've got a new follower yourself now a well!

Jen said...

I don't believe I'm an alcoholic, but there is no doubt I like to abuse the stuff on occasion. I guess this will confirm who my true friends are and who is just a party buddy.

Thank you for commenting and following!

Tallshag said...

You would think just hanging with good friends would be enough that no booze is necessary, wouldn't you? Unless, like you say, the booze is am excuse to be around party buddies.

It's one thing to drink because a person likes it, and quite another to drink because people who like it think you'll like it, too. Glad you saw the difference and made the call on your own...but it surprises me not one bit!

Jen said...

I never said I didn't like to drink. I like it a lot if I'm in the mood. I don't need it to have a good time, though, and it pisses me off when people can't understand "No!"

Post a Comment