Tuesday, May 4, 2010

All Talk and No Do

no excuses

It seems everyone likes to talk about doing things but very few follow through.  Have you noticed this?  Little irks me more.

Poker Guy kept talking about Vegas and trying to convince me I wanted to go, but when I started trying to pin down a date, he suddenly was busy or needed to check his funds...always had an excuse.  I finally told him I'd believe him when it happened and shortly thereafter sent that insomnia message.

I had a backpacking trip in Colorado that got rescheduled until June.  Since I had already planned to be out of town but now had nowhere to be and my Wyoming crush had said he wished I could come sooner, I sent him a message that I could be there 4 or 5 days at the end of May if he was still interested.  I got no response.  One more case of all talk and no do.  I sent another insomnia message last night and may have burned that bridge...but really if he was serious about me visiting he should have sent some kind of reply.

It's not limited to guys, either.  People say they would love to come on my road trips, or workout, or go camping but something always comes up and I end up going alone.  From now on I'm only planning solo trips or events with BCO.  People do have to cancel at times even with the outdoor club, but at least I know they really do backpack, camp, or kayak on occasion because I meet them while we're participating and not just talking.
 
UPDATE:  He didn't have reliable internet service where he's staying.  I'm busy trying to pry the foot out of my mouth so I can use it to kick myself.  If I haven't completely screwed things up and it gets serious...I may have to come back and edit this post before I tell him about my blog...

28 comments:

Poppy said...

oh, tell me about it. 15 people said they would DEFINITELY and sure and of course come to my birthday party but suddenly they were all ill and had to go to their granpa's birthday (that happened suddenly and they didn't know about it a few days before it happened) ... and then there were 5 of us .. :P

I mean. Bullshit. At least be honest and say "I'm not in the mood for it" or I don't want to come anymore."

Unfortunately I can't plan a solo birthday party :))

buffalodick said...

Heard this years ago, and used it in a rewrite of a motivational booklet our company gave to employees..."Say what you mean- and mean what you say".. I was well known in the area for keeping my appointments and my word..

Kelly said...

I'm pretty good about not planning something unless I mean to follow through. Usually.

Vince said...

Why do they not say "provisionally", it would cover until nearer the date when one can say yes or no.

Mary said...

It's a shame but knowing it makes it easier to plan. This is my first visit to your blog and I really enjoyed reading through your posts. I'll TRY to visit often, but make no promises. I hope you are having a great day. Blessings...Mary

sage said...

Bummer... Sorry about all your messed up plans.

Jingle said...

Please do nothing and simply take a nature walk in your neighborhood, either early in the morning or later in the evening, listen to some cheerful or encouraging song...

relax, think of nothing, sleep well, eat fruits and vegetables....oops, you know better.

Jingle said...

Best wishes for you!
Get well or fell well soon!

Jen said...

@Poppy: People do that for any event you plan. I don't understand it. Happy belated birthday!

@buffalodick: Keeping your word and appointments is a good thing to be known for.

@Kelly: Sometimes things come up. It's understandable if it happens occasionally.

@Vince: In the case of the BCO events the only options are yes and no but you can take your name off the list when the event gets closer. In Poker Guy's case...he just didn't want to commit to going at all.

@Mary: Welcome to my blog and please come back when you can.

@sage: That's why I make them in pencil.

Jen said...

UPDATE: He didn't have reliable internet service where he's staying. I'm busy trying to pry the foot out of my mouth so I can use it to kick myself. If I haven't completely screwed things up and it gets serious...I may have to come back and edit this post before I tell him about my blog...

jack69 said...

Had something like that happen yesterday. Invited someone to dinner via msg no return msg. Computer and cell phone were down.
We all suffer from foot in mouth desease from time to time.
Then there are some real jerks. LOL

ρομπερτ said...

What an interesting explantion to measure time.

Wishing you a wonderful Wednesday though.
p.s.: guess one could write books about this subject. It might even work the other way round, as I heard time and again, "she" didn't do it, yet still six months later I found out that she's even continuing...

Brian Miller said...

smiles. glad to see that update...perhaps everything will be ok. i know how you feel though...

That corgi :) said...

I think people are afraid to commit these days to anything, but still it would be nice if they would at least keep with their plans or not make them in the first place with you.

betty

Jen said...

@Jingle: I went and relaxed by the pool for a couple of hours and it helped.

@jack69: Good. Then I'm not the only one. Hopefully he doesn't think I'm one of those real jerks.

@athens: I think there are already a million books about this. He's Just Not That Into comes to mind. I don't know how much I agree with most of it.

@Brian Miller: Maybe. I hope so.

@That corgi: Or maybe it's just hard for them to get out of their comfort zone. They really would like to do something new but it frightens them.

Christiejolu said...

I never make plans with anyone. I rely on myself pretty much!

Jingle said...

glad to see you feel better,
I must take walks out door to feel good.
thanks for the update!

John McElveen said...

Keep at it--You'll find someone who honors His/Her word. Nothing used to irk me more-and I like you just started doing my own thing, and meeting the people that were out doing theirs!

Our Faith's need to meet. We can Open a Soda and sneeze at the same time, and watch the fun!!!

As soon as I get reliable internet service- I'll give ya a shout!

Feeling your frustration!!

John

PS: Are you going with that great Pelican pic?

J

Tempo said...

I know just how you feel Jen...on all accounts. I SO hate when people let me down...and I'm really good at putting my foot in my mouth.

Heather said...

Well if he is a really good guy, then he would probably find this post amusing.

I do hope things work out for you.

Kitty Moore said...

I hate unreliable people who bail out at the last minute.

Eternally Distracted said...

Good to say that you added the update - Hope everything goes well :0)

Jen said...

@Christiejolu: I'm the same way when it comes to most vacations, but I don't want to do everything alone.

@Jingle: It's another beautiful day, so I'll probably take that walk...maybe get some photos to post, too.

@John McElveen: I am definitely using the pelican pic on at least one card.

@Tempo: Maybe one day I'll learn to keep my mouth shut and my foot can spend less time in it.

@Heather: I'm really hoping he's a good guy, then.

@Kitty Moore: The ones who do it consistently no longer receive invites.

@eternally distracted: I hope so, too. Thanks for the well wishes.

ak said...

ugh that is sooo one of my pet peeves...id rather you dont say anything at all then falsely make plans..i have a friend who constantly would do that..id rather just not do anything..its so obnoxious

xx

carma said...

my husband and I are always commenting on the same thing; If we make a plan, by golly we are going to be there barring severe illness. Others don't take commitments quite as seriously it seems....

The Blue Zoo said...

Im one of those people who cant really make plans. No matter what the plans are it never fails that one of my boys will get sick and make me cancel. So I'd rather not make plans than be the mom who is always cancelling.

Jen said...

@ak: Do they not realize they are leaving you hanging or do they just not care?

@carma: Good for you and your husband!

@The Blue Zoo: Taking care of your kids is legitimate. I'd accept that without getting upset.

blueviolet said...

I've had that happen with people offering to help on committees at school, etc. When it's time, they're suddenly unavailable.

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