Thursday, September 30, 2010

Wanna Stay in Love with My Sorrow

Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside
Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without
Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow
Oh, but God I wanna let it go

  - Evanescence

Time to stop paying attention to his words and start paying attention to his actions.  Nothing we have planned has ever happened.  I'm supposed to believe that all of this past summer he couldn't find any time to meet, even though I was already on the road traveling and could have easily added a trip to Wyoming?  And in the next 365 days he can't find 2 to reserve for me?  That's a stretch.  

Even if Wyoming didn't know he was lying to me and fully intended on doing those things...even if he really hopes I'll move to Hawaii and we'll be together...there is no precident that makes me believe it actually will happen.

I met a new guy this weekend - and couldn't stop thinking about Wyoming.  I can't give him or any other guy a fair chance as long as I'm hung up on a ghost.  I told him that until he's ready to take it to the real world, I have to let him go.  We can't keep talking like we have.

It's so hard not to call and say, "I didn't mean it.  That was Sybil speaking..."  I so want to hold on to the hope that I'll be living in Hawaii next year.    


Kelly said...

Long distance romance is awfully difficult, especially when it's not already based on something solid.

Vince said...

Long distance relationships are almost impossible even when there is a structure like an army base designed to help you. Without it the doubts eat you up. Just print out the last twenty or so posts, just the posts not the comments, and half of them will have you torturing yourself. A person just cannot live like that. For heavens sake, even if you were married to the chap, you couldn't live like that.
Best of luck with the new fellow, and there is little harm in being practical as well as romantic. And you know the saying about over/under.

Anonymous said...

LOL! Sybil...I used to call my friend that...What ever you decide and where ever you end up I hope you are happy....

jack69 said...

Keep it up, you will cure yourself, if you need curing. Take life as it is (we really don't have much choice).
Take care and paint a picture, throw something, yell into a pillow.

Hey what do I know, I can not put myself in your position. We all do our best.

From Arley, Alabama

Unknown Mami said...

You need more than words. You deserve more than words.

sage said...

I agree, you deserve more than words! Wyoming sounds like a tumbleweed... he'll keep rolling around till he's caught in a fence, then he won't be interest... Or maybe he's like that other famous Wyoming guy, Cheney, which means you should never go quail hunting with him... Nonsense, I know.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Wow...I'm soo sorry...this must be soo hard...I hope that you can find peace with all of this...You're in my thoughts!!! Sending big hugs, Janine xx

Anita said...

At the risk of losing you as a bloggy friend, I'm going to ask this question anyway.
Have you heard of the book, "He's just not that into you."
I've never read it, but saw the authors on some talk shows and thought they had some very good messages for women. Interestingly, some of the women in the audience still didn't want to believe what the "male" author was telling them - that the guys were only interested in sex.
Best wishes in meeting someone who is interested in the smart, independent, sassy, cute, athletic, great cook, etc. person that you are!

Bernie said...

Oh I am so sorry Jen but I believe you have done the right thing. Too many excuses when you know people always end up doing what they really want to do.....they just don't want to admit it.
There will be someone special for you my friend, be open and honest to yourself and that is the kind of man you will attract to yourself....:-) Hugs

Sara Louise said...

You sum it up best here...
"Time to stop paying attention to his words and start paying attention to his actions"
Listen to your own advice. You deserve a man who is going to back up his words with actions :-)

AmyLK said...

You deserve a man who will be there for you. it doesn't sound like he has been there for you at all. But you are the only one who can make the choice for Wyoming or for the new guy.

Kathleen Scott said...

You've got brain-heart conflict. I'm voting for your brain.

From my personal experience of 19 years between marriages--I tried out a lot of Mr. Maybes and it took a long time to meet Mr. Right--your head is on straight.

Believe in yourself. Read your first paragraph out loud morning noon and night. Say it when you walk and drive. Then add these words: "I deserve a partner who thinks I'm the best thing in the world. And shows it every day."

Denny and I celebrate our 14th anniversary next month. Our life together was worth the wait.

A Lady's Life said...

NEVER put yourself into that situation.

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