Monday, September 20, 2010

An Ocean Apart

Image from Flickr.

He says that he's not in a relationship...he didn't meet anyone yet...he's not dating...he changed his status so people [women?] would stop hassling him. He did try to call me first. I saw the missed call on my phone.

He's still an ocean away, though, with little to no chance that I'll see him before June. We both have kids in school. Which of us will abandon our children on holiday breaks to visit the other? Not me. If he had time off on the holidays and didn't spend it with his kids, I'd lose all respect for him.

He asked if I'd met someone local to go out with. (He doesn't care, but he keeps asking?) I told him that having an understanding that both of us were free to date and telling him about my dates were two different things. "What? I don't get to know?"

He hasn't made it his business. If it gets serious with someone local, I'll give him the courtesy of a phone call. Until then, no. He doesn't get to know.

17 comments:

Brian Miller said...

ack. i am kinda glad he at least had a reason...i would not tell him either..but that is just me.

Kelly said...

It sounds like you're handling this correctly. It also sounds like it's just not meant to be. At least not right now.

Sara Louise said...

Personally, I don't think you should tell him either, and also, the "he changed his status so people [women?] would stop hassling him" thing. Whatever! What man doesn't want women hassling them?
You deserve someone way better, and local!

jack69 said...

No one has the right to ask another about the dates. Voluntary information is you perrogative. Now need to be nasty, I would ignore any questions if that was my decision.
But then what the heck do I know!!!! Never been there! YOUr call

Vince said...

To my mind the most of a relationship is in the sitting quite. And while showing each other the four corners of a room is an aspect, as are those little dramas where you both for the fun of it pick half healed scabs. The majority is in seeing the others expression when a teasing comment is tossed. The touch on the flank or the rump when at the sink or to cup the side of the face when passing behind a couch. It is having the others scent take up home in the nose.
It is not fucking facebook.
How the hell can any help in a real meaning come from any transmission via skype when you just need someone to understand when your kid is doing her first day at school thing. Only now she is out doing things she has to do to grow up, but that does nothing to help you being emotionally walloped backwards and forwards like some pinball in a machine permanently pinging tilt at you.
Just find yourself a kind gentle solvent local man that will put up with 90% of your shit.
But you really must have a saint for a daughter. For if she was a normal teen there is no way you would be able for any of this extra long distance drama.

Stafford Ray said...

That is the ultinmate in control freakery! My ex ran off with a guy she thought would bring her fame and fortune, became pregnant to him to close the trap. Then after a couple of years when I began dating again, confronted me and demanded to know 'what are you doing seeing (name withheld)?'
I just laughted and walked off! Tell the idiot nothing!

Tempo said...

I got caught up with one of these long distance relationships....once! Never again.
I know what youre going through, but it's quite impossible to keep your options open at the same time as waiting for that someone special. Mixed feelings, insecurity, constant nagging doubts....good luck Jen

LL Cool Joe said...

Sounds like a tough situation all round. It's hard to put your whole life on hold whilst waiting for someone you may not see for months.

....Petty Witter said...

Tell me to mind my own business but I honestly believe you deserve better then this 'man'.

tywo said...

You are good at handling things the right way.



LOVE!

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Hello jen, thanks for stopping by. very interesting post.

I sometimes feel we fall in love with ghosts. It's an images of someone we have put together in our hearts and minds. But there are those few times when...that ghost is more real then the world we live on...

Always try to say what you feel...no matter what the outcome. And encourage he do the same. There should be nothing left unsaid and one can not look back and say I should have told him...I should have told her.

Oh yeah, I agree with you...it isn't his business unless hes says he is interested in more with you and you respond to him.

I wish the best for you honey.

Amy said...

Thanks for your thoughts on my dog post.. Have a great evening.. Have a wonderful evening..

UBERMOUTH said...

I'm too lazy to be such a romantic. :)

Blasé said...

I have the best advice over anyone else that has piped-in (everyone thinks they're a Dr. Ruth or something)...but you would just ignore me. You're going to do what you want, anyway.

If you're ever ready for quality advice, let me know. I'll fix you right up!

ρομπερτ said...

Reads like a movie. Wishing you all the very best.

Shelley Ann said...

it sounds like youre handling the situation in the right way to me. but i honestly dont know what i would do in your shoes...on the bright side, i love the picture!!

Heather said...

This guy is very confusing! He acts like there is something there to hold on to, but then again he acts like you are just friends. Weird. Good luck!

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