Saturday, August 28, 2010
I Give Up
What's really confusing is that he's still talking about me maybe moving to Hawaii to be with him in a year and promising - unprompted - that he's not seeing anyone and not planning to date anyone. He says it will be okay. We'll stay in touch and the year will pass before I know it. I asked him how can I trust that he'll magically change his behavior and have time for me in a year. "I'm not issuing any ultimatums but I'm not making any promises, either," is what I told him.
Clearly, I'm not capable of talking with him the way we have been and not getting too attached. (Did I tell you he writes songs about me?) It's going to be hard not to call and text him, but I know I have to. But what do I do when he calls? Do I ignore him? Do I ask him not to call for a while? What if he doesn't call? Why do I feel and sound like I'm still in junior high? Why doesn't this ever get any easier?
Why does this keep happening? I know that I'm the common denominator. I'm not looking for the next guy. I don't need the stress. It's time to throw myself into school, training for the triathlon, and figuring out how to support myself and my daughter now that funds are running lower.
On a brighter note: I did take my vacation to Vegas and the Grand Canyon. I'll post more on that later.