Thursday, June 3, 2010

Plenty of Fish


lion_fish_2, originally uploaded by Crystal Images.
Image from Flickr.

I had sworn off internet dating, but everyone kept asking if I'd tried Plenty of Fish. I don't trust free sites, so I was reluctant. I thought if they weren't even willing to pay 20 bucks a month (or less) for a membership, how interested were they really in meeting anyone? I finally relented. Before I was even done creating my profile, I had mail.

The first one replied to my ad before I even posted a pic. I think he might be one of the few that actually read my profile and didn't just look at the picture. He says he's going to run a half marathon in Badlands National Park next month to feed both his running and park addiction at the same time. Already we have two things in common. I guess I'll correspond with him and see what happens.

I'm deleting any and all messages that don't contain clear evidence that they read my profile. Just writing "we have a lot in common" isn't enough - it must specify what we have in common. One guy referenced a line I wrote and asked a question about it. He'll get a reply, even though I'm not sure if I'd really like to meet him. Another also referenced something I wrote, but his profile says cats creep him out. I gave him the courtesy of a reply that said I have two cats that I'm NEVER getting rid of, sorry.

I deleted someone's email without responding and don't remember exactly why. He sent another one that said, "Well, that was RUDE." He just confirmed he's not someone I want to meet. When I try to respond to everyone, I'm rewarded with nastygrams, so I stopped that a long time ago. Suddenly I'm ugly, stupid, stuck up...one even wrote he wouldn't #$%& me with a 10-foot pole. What's the point of sending those messages? Does he think it will make me change my mind and want a date?

I put a relationship as my intent and wrote: " I'm not looking for an instant relationship, but dating a bunch of guys for the sake of dating isn't fun any more. I'd like to find someone who shares the same interests who's also done 'playing the field' and wants something real." Hopefully that will chase away the ones that need to go, and not repel the rest. We'll see...

19 comments:

Brian Miller said...

hmm...should be quite the adventure...and those guys are telling a lot about themselves with their responses...

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Sounds like cyber dating is not all that different from the night scene I hung out in 20+ years ago.

Rebecca S. said...

I think you are on the right track, because what you are saying, if I have this right, is that what you really want is a FRIEND, and that is the best part of being in a relationship - sharing interests, and caring enough to treat each other really well and not put up with any garbage.

Bernie said...

Good Luck.....I must say my friend got her husband and her wedding dress online, so I guess its not all bad.......:-) Hugs

That corgi :) said...

I can't imagine, after being married close to 30 years,the dating scene these days. good thing about it is you can be as anonymous as you want, I would imagine. just be safe out there!

betty

Tempo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vince said...

Well I met a good friend off the internet. And honestly better for being a friend. We tried the other but the distance was way too much to sustain that kind of relationship.

Rob Strickland said...

Of course I'll hafta check your profile there. Show me yours and I'll show ya mine! haha

tywo said...

I have never done it, but my friend and her bf met through the internet, and they are great!
Just be safe.



LOVE!

Sara Louise said...

I like what you wrote as your intent. It should definitely help weed out the A-holes.

Kelly said...

It sounds like you have a good plan for weeding out the undesirables. Good luck!!

buffalodick said...

I guess I'm old fashioned..I don't know how a stranger can hook two strangers up and have it work...

RoseBelle said...

I'm watching Millionaire Match Maker and the dating process is no easy task as the match maker attempts to match a millionaire to his potential mate. So I bet online dating is even more difficult as you are doing it on your own without a match maker. My coworker said her daughter met her husband through an online site like eHarmony.

Heff said...

Honestly can't imagine why WOMEN use internet dating services in the first place. You girls are always ROLLING IN IT, lol !

sage said...

Good luck, at least it makes interesting blog topics!

John McElveen said...

Jen,

That sounds like a good approach! Good luck finding the Mr, and keep on Playing!!

John

I wonder--if they WRITE that--what would they really be like in person? My mind just doesn't go there to respond that crudely!

Jingle said...

so u r single,
interesting to know you online dating adventure...
have a good one!
Best Wishes!

Heather said...

I agree with John..if they have the nerve to write stuff like that, lord knows what they would say in person! It's aweful how most of the men on those site are really only there for a booty call. Which is the site they should be on.

I have heard some great stories about dating online, heck my brother meet his girlfriend on one of those dating services 3 years ago. AND they are still together, planning a wedding.

ρομπερτ said...

How very interesting to read. Have to admit that the very reason why I am here in Athens, Greece is the Internet, as I met me future wife "online", after writing a few words about me.
Wishing you a wonderful Sunday.

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